Sidesplitting and unapologetic, Chris Rock is undoubtedly fearless when it comes to his commentary on sensitive subjects with humorous remarks. The controversial entertainer has developed a ‘truth bomb’ reputation, as well as respect through his hilarious delivery of brutally honest thoughts.
Chris Rock was born in South Carolina in 1965, and the American comedian, actor, writer, producer and director has been evidently funny ever since. The star grew up in an impoverished section of Brooklyn and was subject to discrimination which had major influence on his work. He started doing stand-up comedy in 1984 in NYC and received his break when he was discovered by Eddie Murphy aged just 19. This led to his first film role in Beverly Hills Cop II and a cast member spot on Saturday Night Live.
His career grew quickly as Rock went on to more prominent film appearances, starring in Down to Earth, Head of State, The Longest Yard, Madagascar, Grown Ups, Grown Ups 2, Top Five, and a series of acclaimed stand-up specials for HBO. Rock also developed, wrote and narrated the sitcom Everybody Hates Chris, which was based on his early life.
Established recognition and success earned Rock hosting roles in the 77th Academy Awards in 2005 and the 88th in 2016. The star has also won four Emmy Awards and three Grammy Awards.
With nothing to hide, Rock’s raw humour and unconstrained nature have driven some hilarious yet motivational comments which we could all learn from, once the laughter comes to an end.
1. ut your heart, mind, and soul into even your smallest acts. This is the secret of success.
2. Wealth is not about having a lot of money; it’s about having a lot of options.
3. With the new day comes new strength and new thoughts.
4. I think it’s better to have ideas. You can change an idea; changing a belief is trickier.
5. Women are like the police, they could have all the evidence in the world but they still want the confession.
6. You are in a competition… Every room you’re in, you’re competing with the people that played that room and you have to be at least as good as the other people that played that room.
7. The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.
8. I think my best work is when I’m kind of in charge.
9. I don’t get high, but sometimes I wish I did. That way, when I messed up in life I would have an excuse. But right now there’s no rehab for stupidity.
10. You know, some people say life is short and that you could get hit by a bus at any moment and that you have to live each day like it’s your last. Bullshit. Life is long. You’re probably not gonna get hit by a bus. And you’re gonna have to live with the choices you make for the next fifty years.
11. When you meet somebody for the first time, you’re not meeting them. You’re meeting their representative.
12. You can only offend me if you mean something to me.
13. Funny is only something that others know about you — you can’t be funny by yourself.
14. I want my name to be a brand in comedy. I hope my name stands for comedic excellence.
15. Only a woman can make you feel wrong for doing something right.
16. Everything’s funny — in the right context and done by the right person.
17. Only married people understand you can be miserable and happy at the same time.
18. There are only three things that women need in life: food, water, and compliments.
19. Anyone who makes up their mind about an issue before they hear the issue is a fool.
20. You get what you pay for.
21. If you properly clean a room, it gets dirtier before it gets cleaner.
22. Whenever I go out with other married couples, I like to bring along a single crackhead. Just to spice things up.
23. Gun control? We need bullet control! I think every bullet should cost 5,000 dollars. Because if a bullet cost five thousand dollar, we wouldn’t have any innocent bystanders.
24. We were so poor my daddy unplugged the clocks when we went to bed.
25. I live in a neighborhood so bad that you can get shot while getting shot.
26. People are always going to, you know, find something wrong with people who are not the exact same as them. That’s just what it is. Black, white, short, tall, religions, whatever. People are bad.
27. You can be anything you’re good at.
28. I used to work at McDonald’s making minimum wage. You know what that means when someone pays you minimum wage? You know what your boos was trying to say? ‘Hey if I could pay you less, I would, but it’s against the law.’
29. Much like rock ‘n’ roll, school shootings were invented by the black man and stolen by the whites.
30. You’ve got girls so you might have to watch out. You might have to hurt somebody. If Lola came home and told me a guy hit her, I would get my gun and shoot the guy. I would put DNA on the bullet to make sure everybody knows I did it.
31. You can be married and bored, or single and lonely. Ain’t no happiness nowhere.
32. Only dumb people try to impress smart people. Smart people just do what they do.
33. Here’s the thing. When we talk about race relations in America or racial progress, it’s all nonsense. There are no race relations. White people were crazy. Now they’re not as crazy. To say that black people have made progress would be to say they deserve what happened to them before.
34. Daddy pays for the water, daddy pays for the gas, daddy pays for the electricity, and if daddy didn’t pay for the electricity, he’d pay for the candle on your nightstand, so you can study for the big test tomorrow.
35. I’ve never seen stunt casting that’s actually funny: ‘Oh, it’s Shaq,’ and then there’s some horrible excuse for him to dunk, … It’s, like, ‘We got a famous guy, and he’s gonna be famous tonight’ — and it sucks!
36. Everybody takes daddy for granted. Just listen to the radio: Everything’s momma. What’s the daddy song? Papa Was A Rolling Stone.
37. Aw, man, they gave ’em the Oscar on stage. Next they’re gonna give the Oscars in the parking lot. It’ll be like a drive-through Oscar lane. You get an Oscar and a McFlurry and keep on moving.
38. You know, you get famous and you work in these weird jobs and you don’t have a lot in common with people. But once you have kids, you have everything in common with everybody.
39. A sense of humor is great – it goes a long way in a marriage.
40. Comedy is the blues for people who can’t sing.
41. When I hear people talk about juggling or the sacrifices they make for their children, I look at them like they’re crazy because sacrifice infers that there was something better to do than the thing – than being with your children. And I’ve never been with my kids and gone, ‘Man, I wish I was on my stage right now.’ I’ve never been with my kids and gone, ‘Man, it’d be so great if I was on a movie set right now.’ But I’ve been doing a movie and wished that I was with my kids, I’ve been on tour and wished that I was with my kids. Being with my kids is the best, most fun thing. It’s a privilege. It’s not something I call a sacrifice.
42. A man is only as faithful as his options.
43. A bunch of girls say, ‘You don’t need no man to help you raise no child’ … shut the fuck up with the bullshit! Yeah, you could do it without a man, but that don’t mean it’s to be done! Shit, you can drive a car with your feet if you want to, that don’t make it a good fucking idea!
44. No matter what happens or how difficult things become, you will eventually feel better.
45. Think about everything a real daddy does: pay the bills, buy the food, make your world a better, safer place. And what does daddy get for all of his work? The big piece of chicken. That’s what daddy gets.
46. Now that I have children, I realize taking care of my children is more fun than anything in the whole world.
47. If your work is so smart that only smart people get it, it’s not that smart.
48. Listen to people that are smarter than you.
49. Nobody’s about saving anymore. No one cares about a rainy day anymore. Nobody saves up enough for even an umbrella for a rainy day. It’s sad. It really is a new form of slavery. We used to work to be able to afford material things. Now we work for these things. They’re the boss. That house you can’t afford, that car that’s out of your price range, that cellphone that drains your bank account – that’s your boss.
50. I’ve seen women who don’t have great relationships with their dads, and it all comes down to this: You have to tell girls you love them every day.
51. It’s hard for a man to turn down sex… if they chase us, we can’t run that fast.
52. We got a justice system for rich, for poor, for black, for white. We live in a country where two people can do the exact same crime in the exact same place at the exact same time and get a different sentence.
53. Every man has to settle down eventually. You know why you gotta settle down eventually? Because you don’t want to be the old guy in the club.